-_-

Well aren't I just the LUCKIEST girl in the world!
1. If I want a new phone ill have to pay close to....300 something dollars :l
2.School?SUCKS
3.I feel like im about to break down
My life isnt the worst but Im just not happy with how things are right now... and YES, I do know that thats how life is, no one can always be happy...BUT things are really getting to me right now -_-, I wish I could just cease to exist for a little
That may seem a little drastic but to me it means that I could then STOP..just stop everything ,if that makes sense?
And NO I dont wanna die I just wanna..be reborn!
And NO those first two reasons arent totally why Ive been in a pissy mood but they do add to everything else happening in my head >_>xD

hah

a lotta ppl say that the U.S is the 'greatest nation in the world' if that is true does that not show how fucked up the world is!!!wake-up people..

today..

My friend thought I had on her pants for some reason...so we went to the bathroom to swap ..and turns out, I had on MY PANTS so we had to re-swap xDD
:]
just seemed a little funny to me so.. >_> :]

ok

HMM.. lately ive realized that Im perfectly fine with being alone and having people not like me....no thats not my current situation, BUT I just think that too many people are trying to be something aside themselves and others are just annoying in my opinion:]xD
Most of my "friends" are just there for the time being...I have a lot of "time-and place" friendships. And it isnt like I dont appreciate having them in my life, they just havent impacted my life in any significant way...and made me be like...'DAMN, this girl/dude is really gonna be my bffl!'
Since Im forced to be at school, like most people, I try and make the best of it by getting to kno people
...not only to fill the void of me dreading school 110.5% but...to just try and get a feel for different personalties..If that makes sense?
and right now (at school) not one person strikes me as worthy of being my "best friend...for life"
Maybe it takes a life time to find best friends xD Im willing to wait :]

" 'Good friends, well you can count them on one hand' And they’ll never judge youWhatever your crime I know that, I can include you And you’ll forgive meIn the fullness of time"--Mr.Hudson :D

current favorite song

Forever Young-Jayz ft. Mr.Hudson <3

my baby D:

:l I lost my phone at the hospital when I went to see my grandpa(he had surgery on his knee)
Ugh it's like a part of me is missing now!
FML!

lately

Lately ive been..BLAH! I mean I dont really know how to explain things D:
friends?over rated hah!
Its like everyones been annoying me...no matter what they do or say I just dont wanna be around them..
TO BE CONTINUED

Today

today was our anual Freshmen vs. Seniors Olympics..
and yours truly cheered on....NEITHER :D
the freshmen annoy me,the seniors...annoy me hah!
everyones like go seniors,go freshmen! annd im like boooo both of yuh...gooooo to hell xD
(<_< not really the got to hell part,but I shouldve said that xD)
The freshmens are weak so of course they lost like expected xDD
GOOD JOB FRESHMEN!

thursday

we had to make a graph for algebra..and I only marked 3 points...so my teacher started going crazy and telling me that it was wrong-_- , and every time I tried to explain to her that I already knew that I needed to mark the rest of the points and complete my lines she wouldnt let me talk! I think she was trying to embarass me in front of the class or some crap! and everyone was asking me why I didnt jsut let it go,and let her have the last word...well thats just not me,Im sorry xD
in the end we apologized to each other...so I guess I dont totally hate hher xD

Ugh

yuh know wat I hate?!
stubborn teachers who think they know everything!-_-

Role Models

Funny!:)

Hmm

If only I could put what I want to say into words..

Latest Reads

A Million Little Pieces:James Frey
Before I Die:Jenny Downham
Animal Farm:George Orwell (by force hah)

Sloppy Firsts

Sloppy Firsts:Megan Mccaffertyy
:) hmmm 4stars..out of five
Pretty good book

Ziggy

Ziggy: My older cousin whom I luff so much haha
A promise is a promise..and mostly always,my word is my word xD
We have so much in common!
both female xD
both bipolar
both crazy
great senses of humor :](runs in the family xD)
smart
muslim
agh..a whole bunch of other crap as well
YOURE LIKE A SISTER TO ME HOMES!
:]
I could write more but Im feeling supa lazy rite now
SO BE SATISFIED

HOME

Well I arrived the home front at about 5:00am
And to my suprise I was actually happy!I could'nt wait to lay in comfortable bed(I rarely miss being in my own bed)
So I went to lay down in my room,my dad walks in and asks me if I wanna go to school
Hah!like many kids would I turned that down..so now Im blogging
I just finished my hmwk assignments from thursday-friday :]
EXCEPT I didnt finish this science assignment cus im pretty confused on what to do so I hope the teacher just excuses it cus im absolutely clueless! D:
TN was...hm pretty good I suppose
I dont miss school,dont miss my "friends"...
And I really dont feel like going back to be flooded with tons of work -_- but hey nothing is fair xD

TN

well Im in memphis right now and im RESTLESS D:
DINNER:Red Lobster-yum..The biscuits were awesome as usual :D, I got the cajun chicken alfredo...it was erm ok I suppose
My bro: drove all the way to memphis(6-7hrs) then drove back to arkansas(2hrs)then to memphis again(2hrs) :O -_-
Tomorrow: we get to go to the Lorraine Motel (the hotel where dr.king was killed,they turned it into a museum) and we're gonna go see Minister Louis Farrakhan speak... :]
back home: we're gonna leave memphis at like 7 and be back home at 3am...then I haff to get up for school (5am) HORRIBLE! -_-
:]

brr D:

Its finally here
BLAH!

MOVIES iABSOLUTELY WANNA SEE!

Capatalism:A Love Story

Where the Wild Things Are

Zombieland Alice In Wonderland

Friends

How many of us have them?xD
hmm..It's kinda funny how you meet people that you think you'll know and love forever and then you grow-up and grow away from each other. The only friends I know I wont loose are those who are not only friends,but family.Something I realize is that I slip up and call people my friends when theyre actually more so, aquaintances...right now Im at an age when I dont really know who my true friends are (aside from family) so I dont always let my guard down.
Some definitions I found on dictionary.com:
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
What's the true meaning of friends?

Today

was great bcuz I was able to enjoy the whole day knowing that I dont have to go 2morrow hehe
erm..
P.E:We were divided into groups and in those groups had to create 2 list,one listing reasons why teenagers smoke,the other listing reasons why teens dont smoke
Hah of course I got to be wiff meh buds,Kat and peeris:D! we were sitting there actually doing work, thinking of reasons why some teens dont smoke and I go OH I KNOW, cuz they do shrooms instead hah xD...just thought that was funny
My Bro: My older brother and I were talking about Kid Cudi and how in a lot of his songs he brings up weed, so my brother starts asking me questions like,"Do you not like that," or "does that make you feel differently about his music," and im like"Nope cuz yuh never know how good or bad something is until you try it haha!"

WELL!

hmm lets see...Here goes the breakdown! hah(insider between me and mexD)
-new9weeks:I have to say,I am pretty happy that this 9 weeks is coming to an end. To me this marks a fresh start in all of my classes. Im pretty satisfied with my grades(English:B,Math:B,Science:A,P.E:A) :]...on the not so bright side we still have 27 more shitty weeks of school left,woopdahdeedoo!
-Tomorrow:2morrow is the Holy Day of Atonment and Im aware that there are some changes that I need to make so from tomorrow on Ill start working on dah...
-New music: Wallpaper,Breathe Electric,The Phantom of the Cineplex, nd Empire of the Sun :]

:O

FINALLY! it's the weekend :]!YIPYIPHOORAY!yesterday was a pretty good day:]
1.my group worked pretty good
2.IT WAS FRIDAY!

my dad

My dad is one of the most wonderful people in my life! I love him like I love no other male on this planet! some friends may think to themselves"hey,why does she always speak and think so highly of this dude" or "what's so wonderful about him?" WELL! my dad has been there for me and unlike many others he somewhat understands me. There is lots of stuff I can talk to him about and him being open-minded and opionated he is able to grasp what Im saying and give me feedback on his views of certain things. Sometimes I wonder how that man knows so much and why Im SOOOO much like him! I mean aside from a few major differences me and my dad are generally alike! He has molded me into the person I am now and without him...hmm IDK.. i dont think I could picture things without him! Hes the one person in my life that I can truely say is my bestfriend,role model, and father. Most people have parents that are wonderful people but they dont actually appreciate them and I dont understand why!My dad has taught me stuff that no school teacher could teach me! Im one of those lucky people who can actually say that my father is there and he cares!!! Like all people my dad has his flaws but overall he is a good person and I LOVE HIM! He taught me that the best conversation one can have is with themself..I TOATALLY AGREE! I am my own bestfriend! :] My dad has taught me to love myself like no other, to be myself, to love others,to look at things from different point of views etc(taught me so much the list can go on forever!) BASICALLY WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!!!!

hmm LIFE

HMMM.. how about a serving of life-- or say, a game of life? BLAH! what Ive come to realize, with the help of my favorite asian,darla,Life sucks! nothing is totally fair and absolutely no one has complete privacy! and yes I sort of already knew these things but today they just became more clear to me than ever! I think that life is sort of set up for everyone to struggle and for no one to be completely happy...ex.Most people who are rich are not always happy and those who are poor struggle to make it day to day!(get my drift?) ex2. Those who strive so hard to do well in school and join lots of extra caricular stuff never really have time to flat out "enjoy life" and those who spend to much time "enjoying life" never really get that far in life cuz they havent taken the time out to grasp academics! and learn a trade and stuff like that. I hope that life is set up this way as a test for God to see who can endure what and if people's good outway their bad cuz HEY man I hope the stuff that Im doing and plan to do is gonna kinda pay off some way cuz I dont wanna struggle throughout my life and be bombarded with similar troubles in the after life(BTW I dont exactly believe in heaven and hell so Im just speaking in general)

OH MY JESUS

ive been waiting to get home all day so I could post a blog entry haha...I must say that Ive become addicted :] my blog is like one of my new BFFs xD :]
TODAY:
D: ..today I got an after school detention for getting sumtin out of the vending machine! can you believe it!!!! since it rained last night it was pretty wet outside today so we stayed in for p.e..BLAH! i wasnt able to get in line this morning for breakfast so I was hungry as a MOFO!..in my head i was like hmmm where can I get food and dingdingding the first thing that came to mind was the vending machine..usually they turn it off but ocassionally they leave it on...idk why maybe becuz the faculty forgets to turn it off BUT anyways i asked my friend,kat, to come with me and Adrian(another friend) decided to come along...well I got my snack,kat got her snack and out comes the Vice principal..She was like "GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF CLASS,UR NOT 'POSE TO BE USING THOSE VENDING MACHINES...BLAHBLAHBLAH" so then she was all give me those snacks yuh can get them back during lunch yadda yadda yadda and then she drastically decided that we should be written up! first of all my teacher knew I was outta class and 2ndly I dont see what I did that was SOOO wrong -_- I mean yeah maybe I shouldnt have bought anything but THE VENDING MACHINE WAS ON,I WAS HUNGRY, AND IVE NEVER EVEN GOTTEN A WARNING! so hey man why is it my fault that someone slipped up and left it on! she has totally lost my respect..I feel that she is unreasonable!(i have lots more to say about this situation but ey i dont wanna drag it out)
MY SCIENCE GROUP: ive already metioned that i wasnt comfortable with my group,right? well hmm today we got some work done but Im still tempted to ask the teacher if I can work alone cuz Idk if I trust them to work when I cant watch over them and correct their mistakes! so I guess ill just have to take a zero for my colaboration grade..but hey content counts more and I want my A to stay an A!

THE K WORD!

KARMA
-the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.(ditionary.com)

What you do does indeed come back around and bite you in the ass or guarantee good of some sort;I believe strongly in karma. If you do something oout of goodness you will be rewarded but if you do something evil and wicked your bound to have something bad happen to you! What you receive isnt always returned in the form it was given; you may have hurt someone emotionally and years later you could possibly get in a reck or be put in a position that wont allow you to do things you want and or have to do. idk maybe when you believe in something strongly than it becomes visable more than often to you and affects you more than it would others...

rewind

do you ever wish that you could just go back? Wouldn't it be great to just stop, and bring yer life back to a moment when you felt as if you were on top of the world! Like many others I have done lots of stuff I regret..I admit at most times in my life I was rushing to grow up and becoming a person that I was not ready to be. If only I could erase paticular moments in my life when I made big mistakes and or missed out on big oppurtunities :/. Hah like most people I look back on things ive done and have been through;I always wonder why i didnt stop and question certain things or hault and realize that what I was doing would only be on my conscious for say..hmmm... forever!!! Sometimes when I think about things ive done and should do, I wonder if my mistakes can get any worst! I know Im young and all bbut hey Ive done some major stuff that Im not to enthustiastic/happy/jazzed up about...those things were just not me at all. And the way im describing my mistakes may make things come off as if i did drugs or sumtin..to clear things up..no i havent done anything that bad!!!IDK I understand that God is testing my endurance and capability to handle
different situations but I dont do so well with making mistakes! D: hmmm.. the more you face the stronger you are bound to become that's the way I see it!
Hey I guess it's true, you can't live in the past so focus on the present and new possibilities that can be granted tomorrow(n.m)...

long live one of the most prosperous and honorable

Today is the 111th birthday of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad :)

Allahu akbar

:o

today was a blah day :]...full of both good and bad things I should say. I have tons of algebra hmwk D:! and.. I also have to write my intro for my essay(analyzing narratives(BLAH))! OH YEAH, I have the suckiest group in science..we got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! done today :/...for the first hour of class we had to work on this questionaire.. and I spent the last 30 min trying to get them to pay attention! If they dont do any work tomorrow Im asking the teacher if I can work by myself because I don't want anyone jeopardizing my grade! Im a very controlling person and when people dont listen I start to loose it so science wasnt so good today v_v

today/tomorrow

well today was just a bunch of nothingness!didnt: do my homework,clean my room,or wash my clothes..all of things which need to be done before tomorrow!not so much the cleaning up thing though..gawsh could another dreadful day of school be here already! it's like i went to sleep on friday, woke up, and now it's sunday nite D:! well Im gunna try to make the best out of this week :) idk how but im determined to do so! Life has been so boring lately...maybe I need to join a club or something...I take interest in very little these days:/ ...hah next semester ill be taking spanish D: I can barely pay attention to teachers who speak english so paying attention to a spanish teacher is bound to be pretty difficult! I took a spanish class in the 5th grade.. I suppose you can say I remeber only the basics..like tio,tia,hola,casa..crap like that! so maybe it wont be so bad in the beginning :)...I almost have 27 weeks of school! yippee!D:

MY LATEST READS

*Rainbow boys trilogy
*Bleach vl.17,vl.18,vl.19
*Fat kids rule the world
:D all great books!

SUBNOTES

LATEST: I came up with a clever idea , I wanna add sub-notes to my post..when I have something else on my mine aside from the main focus of a/the post ill include sub-notes :]
SUB-NOTE
--my dad farted in his sleep,ewww! xD
--im rather hyper and I dont know why! I just cant stop blogging! muhahahhaa im a crazy blogging sycho and im on a rampage watch out! Im gonna blog you to death!
--I appreciate the few people who actually take the time to look at my blog but then again I didnt really create this blog for the views...i created it for the somewhat freedom to realse the crap thats on my mind

hmmm..to tell you the truth this is not shocking at all

my grandfather, a rather tan black guy, was 1 of 9 children I think and if im not mistaken his father was mixed(both black and white)...since he was one of the two lightest children he and his brother were the only ones given permission to visit the white side of my great-grandfathers family of course it was because they didn't accept the fact that he married a 'nigger' and had 'nigger' babies! My great-grandfather and his family lived down a side road which went all the way down to a main road that they had to walk to and be picked up by the ummm white side of my great-grandfathers family and would be dropped off at the same place because they didn't want to be seen dropping off 'niggers'..how could some one be that disowning of family I guess that just goes to show you how cut-throat things were and still are! I really need to ask my grandparents more questions becuase Im so curious about our family's history!

woah!

I still can't grasp the fact that kids are still attempting to fit in and are recoiling from being themselves because they fear what otherswill think of them..Im very young and at an even younger age I learned to be myself and if others couldnt except that then they were and still are the ones missing out! missing out on a great friend, a different look on life, a humble soul! haha and that may seem sort of arrogant to think of myself as those things but hey I do! and maybe it has something to do with my father being the sort of guy who makes me stop and actually view things for what they are and actually gives me a great example of how loving yourself and being yourself will only make you happy internally :].. Im definantly not someone who is 100% ignorant to the thoughts of other people about me and different things but i will also not hide who I am just to please others :] I enjoy looking at things from different point of views and I overall appreciate the fact that not all people think alike! hmm to tell you the truth at one time I was actually one of those people trying so hard to be 'different' that i actually ended up falling back into the SAMES(stubborn people who don't try and be there own person); I tried so hard to impress people that I was then unsatisfied with myself. Being different doesnt always mean trying to "STAND OUT" ,being different is just being the person that you want to be and not focusing so much on what people think

latest music craves

hmmm
(OMG im in need of some good techno music..does anyone know of any?plz hit give me names of some artist...does anyone just know of any artist that arent mainstream..BASICALLY i just need some GOOD music! :] HELP ME!)
1.Kid cudi
2. the killers
3. wallpaper
4.hollywood undead
5.hope
6.santagold
SUB-NOTES
--kanye: sorry bro,cant believe theyre still giving yuh crap..yes it was mean..but hey it was FUNNY haha..PPL ok he messed up,apologized..but still they wont let it go! think about it it's like yer mom finding about something stupid you did and nagging you about it..or like bringing it up over and over again! LET IT GO PPL!
--my day: hmm my day was ok..on the bright side school didn't really cross my mind so much,my mom didnt really give me any crap about stupid bleep(you fill it in), and! I got out of the house..xDD
--I need new friends Im tired of the same ppl! yes I love my current friends..kinda...some of em haha! BUT I need to spice things up..mabi my Dad is right, I may be anti-social but hey at least im "anti-social" by choice..IF I WANTED PPL TO LIKE ME AND OR BE MY FRIEND I COULD GET THEM TO BE MY FRIEND..(if that makes sense).. and at least I think so hehe
--I want a snake..they seem so awesome..theyre beautiful and some are even dangerous, the only thing I cant get with is feeding them mice I abosolutely hat rodents! ..I hate bugs too..I will kill a bitch if they get in my way while im attempting to escape from a bug haha!

SCHOOL

hmm where do I start...how bout BORING & STRESSFUL? -_- first of all ive been seeing the same faces for 3years now and unless I flunk out or my dad randomly decides to enroll me into another school (chances for that happening?slim to none hah!) Ill be there for 4 MORE YEARS D:... I totally need a full break! 2 days is not enuff!-_-..hmm another summer vacation would be great right about now hehe..and its not like I did anything during the summer but nothing is better than being at school! woo! The only time anything ever gets exciting around there is when I decide to hide someones crap other than that its the same damn thing day after day! And the work load is ridonkulous!haha..I have loads of homework all the time, its like seriously, when do I ever get a break?!?! or some like personal time!well I guess Im done ranting about school:]...HOWVE YUH BEEN?oh thats wonderful!i wish I could kill someone now..not any paticular person...just someone.. i have no clue why tho! OHH YEAH im co-writing a book wiff mah best pal! its gunna be awesome..i don wanna give away any details tho!
THE END